So I was reading through the first chapter of Proverbs. Something I've done many times over. Can't really say that I have any new insights to what it all might be saying. Nothing. No new truth. No new facts. No revelation. But what I do have are emotions attached to this passage.
Maybe it's the rainy day and the silence it's been dragging me to. All the contemplation, dreariness, blahness, zoning-out-ness, and just dreaming of going out and playing in puddles-ness.
Side note to all of this: Why don't we ever let go of the norm, get out from indoors and play ferociously in the rain like when we were little kids?
Getting back to the Proverb at hand.
Okay, whatever with the reason for the emotions being attached to this passage. But I was reading through it and loads of questions started circling around in my mind. Like, "Why does it seem like there's a limit to God's grace?" "Why will God sit back and let bad things happen to people when they are gleaning for him?" "Why will God mock his people and laugh at their calamity? That just seems mean."
And obviously the answers to those questions are right in front of me. Proverbs says that Wisdom was crying aloud in the streets. That she was speaking at the entrance of the city gates. That she was poured out for the people. That she was made known. But no one cared. No one heeded her words. No one answered her cry.
The only time people turned to God was in their crisis. He was their scape goat. They only need him on their time. But when all the skies were blue, well, he just wasn't a part of the picture.
I can see how God might be put off by that. I would. But still, here I am having been raised thinking that God's grace is endless and Proverbs just isn't telling the same story. Of course his grace is never ending, but if we're in this strange abusive type relationship with the creator of the universe where we use and abuse him on our time, then yeah, I can't imagine his grace would go on forever in that case.
It's like, "Well God, we can only be cool with one another when it's convenient for me." "God, sure, provide for me when I carelessly throw my money away. I need you now more than ever." Well, what about that time a few weeks back when you had plenty of money and didn't need help? Was God a part of your life then? You might figure, "Of course he was," but your lack of acknowledgment of him says otherwise.
And this is what Proverbs is leading me to think here. We can't just have a relationship with God when it's convenient. But this verse still bothers me. Because there have been plenty of times in my life when I've basically forgotten about God. When I've gone through life dilly-dallying going about my own business not caring an ounce about God. Not praying. Not reading my Bible. Not going to any sort of church meeting however that meeting might look. Not doing anything that is God-related at all.
So shouldn't I be cut off when life doesn't go well and I start calling out to God?
So it begs the question of, "What does it mean to have a relationship with God?" I mean to ask about the deepest regions of our being having some sort of relationship with God. The places we can't even travel to most of the time because they're so out of reach but somehow God is in touch with them. Make sense?
In closing, I can't imagine God just cutting us off if we truly have a relationship with him. But still, what does that relationship mean. I don't know. I think we'll all come up with our own personal answers. So this Proverb is a good reminder to us to keep our relationship with him in check.
Don't use and abuse him. That just can't be good to have the God of the universe laughing at your crisis. Not cool.