"What have I done to you?"
"Why am I here?"
"Am I criminal?"
She re-assured me I would not be taken back to the plane in hand cuffs. She jokingly laughed about it. I laughed in awkwardness. I laughed with relief.
I still didn't know why I was here.
But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,
my glory, and the lifter of my head. (Ps. 3:3)
I recollect the other night and nothing comes to mind - no answer. The whole night I prayed for the Lord to give me the grace and mercies to make it through. He did. I made it through.
The Lord is a shield about me.
UA flight 922 landed nearly 30 minutes early. As the plane got lower and lower to the ground I couldn't stop looking out the window. It was nighttime. There were only lights. But those lights let me know that I was almost there. I was actually moving to London. What for so long was only a dream was quickly becoming a reality.
We touched down. That was the first time I got excited about what was happening. People on the plane filed out. The hall we walked down couldn't have been any longer. But we were here; it was all good. I was in London, well, kind of.
The line for Customs was like one of those never ending roads. The ones where you know exactly when the turn for you destination is coming up, but it just drags on and on and you wonder when it will end. We made it to the front finally. Josh went his separate way to one desk. Mom and I went to one together.
He asked so many questions. They started off as the norm for Customs. "What's the purpose for your travels?" "How long will you be staying here?" "Where will you be staying?" Those sorts of questions, you know. But I knew I was going to be grilled. Then it came. He started questioning me as to why I didn't have a return ticket. Soon he was asking for phone numbers of friends he could call to enquire of. "Okay, you can take a seat now," he said.
"Mom, it will be okay." I kept telling her that again and again. "God knows the way. he's going to provide a way for me. Don't worry." I think I said those words to calm myself down as well. I didn't know what was happening. Why weren't they letting me through?
"If they need you to have a return ticket, we'll buy one now," mom said. "What if they don't let you through, what will I do?"
"Don't think about the what ifs, mom. It'll be fine. It'll all work out. God will provide. Just don't worry. Don't think on the bad. God will come through for us. It's all good." I kept saying things like that, but I was a mess inside. I didn't know what was going to happen to me.
It's like, think of that worst thing that could possibly happen to you. Think of getting mauled by some 9-foot lioness out on the hunt. This ain't no cubby Simba searching for bugs and worms singing "Hakuna matata." This is the real deal. This is you getting your derriere kicked, pants split, not being able to sit down for days because you just got served.
But you, O Lord, are a shield about me,
my glory, and the lifter of my head. (Ps. 3:3)
We sat and waited for so long. We sat and there was still hope. There always will be hope. Oh well, I got served. Oh well, I didn't know what was going to happen. And oh well, I might get denied entry and sent back home on the first flight in the morning.
But the Lord is still a shield about me. And he will always be a shield encompassing the entirety of me. I will forever be covered by God.
Today, right now, don't think on your situation too much. Don't think on the troubles that you've come across. Just don't try to reason it and figure out all the options. Relax. Take a deep breath. And know that the Lord your God is a shield about you. Know that in troubled times he will lift your head. So praise your God with all that's in you because your eyes are lifted back to the heavens.
Behold your God.
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