UA Flight 922 - Part III

The Lord is a stronghold for the 

oppressed,

   a stronghold in times of trouble.

And those who know your name put 

their trust in you,

   for you, O Lord, have not forsaken

those who seek you.  (Ps. 9:9&10)

I was escorted back to Customs after my bags were magically put back together.  This time they were hardly sorted in any logical fashion.  Instead, my luggage was chaos.

And the two ladies went about like this was normal for them.  It was merely procedure.  They talked of their having to get paid more.  I think that was all I really heard.  The rest was a blur to me.  I couldn't concentrate.  I couldn't concentrate on anything.  The amount of thoughts beaming through my head meshed together into one lump.

I tried thinking of what was going to happen to me; that didn't work.

I tried thinking how everything would play out.  Would I be okay, you know?  Would I make it through and Tom and mom and Josh and Kai would all still be waiting on the other side?

I tried thinking of, "Okay, if someone asks me why I'm here I'll just say it's for tourism."

"Wait, I can't just say it's for tourism." - Thought 1

"Okay.  I'm here to go to church." - Thought 2

"Yeah right.  Who's going to actually believe that I just traveled over 3,000 miles just to attend a church service?" - Thought 1

"Fine.  I'll make it clear to them that I'm not here to do any sort of charitable work since I was refused a Voluntary Worker visa." -Thought 2

"Cool." - Thought 1

"Sorted." - Thought 2

I was holding a very discombobulated argument inside my noggin.  I couldn't believe that I was actually arguing with myself.  It's like I had some out of body experience where I overheard my thoughts trying to sort them selves out.  This was messed up.  Life should never cause you to hold arguments within your head.  It's not like I was going crazy.  I was just utterly confused about the situation I found myself in.

And those who know your name put 

their trust in you,

   for you, O Lord, have not forsaken

those who seek you.  (Ps. 9:10)

My thoughts and prayers intertwined.  Because when some crazy circumstance overcomes you, you will not lose sight of God.  You will not cut off that connection you have with him.  If anything, you will pull harder and harder on the line like you're ringing bell towers to get in touch with your Rock, your Salvation, you're Everything-that-you-could-possibly-ever-want-or-need-during-this-troubled-time.

Josh was right; I was screwed.  And that realization made me run to God quicker than Usaine Bolt during the Olympics this year.  It makes you run faster than a bullet train because you have no other possibility of being rescued.  Superman is just a figment in your rearview mirror at this point.  You have one destination and that's to find yourself in the Lord's arms.  Nothing else will do.

They sat me back down on those chairs my mom and I were at before.  This time I was alone.  I only had my discordant mind to keep me company.  I tried not to worry.  I tried not to think about all the bad that might come; their not letting me through; their not letting me say a proper goodbye to Sorrel when she flies in the next morning; their not letting me see anyone even if they're all on the other side of the arrivals door waiting for me until two in the morning.  I tried not thinking about how I was American and this shouldn't be happening to me.  I tried not thinking about home and going back to a job I've known for four years.  I tried not thinking about how I'd have to explain this to everyone.  How could they possibly understand anyways?

The Lord is a stronghold for the

oppressed,

   a stronghold in times of trouble.  (Ps. 9:9)

And I waited for whatever lay ahead.  I texted everyone.  Told them I was being held at Customs.  Asked for prayer.  The responses came pouring in.  Even though my friends weren't with me in person, sitting in that row of chairs with me, they were still there in spirit.

So that sounds cheesy and cliche, but it was true.  Their simple responses helped get me through that night.  The texts gave me confidence.  It's like my friends were standing with me.  Like they actually did have my back on this one.

It's probably the first time they actually saw Greg take a chance in life.  That same Greg who likes everything orderly, who never really stepped out of line, who rarely challenged conformity and the normalcy of life.

I took a chance.  I flew to another country without an entry clearance visa.  I said, "You know God, you've put England on my heart.  You've re-ignited something where all I want is to work with the youth of London.  You even gave me the loveliest girl I've ever known in life and you let me find her in London.  So I'm going for it.  I'm going to make that move.  I'm going to leave everything that I've known for 23 years.  It doesn't matter that I'm going over there with less than $300.  It doesn't matter that I might get turned away at the door.  I'm going on faith, Lord.  And I'm going on trust.  So let me learn to trust you."

And it's been a process.  This whole trusting in God thing is quite the process.  It's one insane journey filled with newly paved roads, potholes, bumps, car-wrecks, the whole nine yards.  But God is still seeing me through.

This trusting in him comes day after day.  It's the kind of trust where straight away in the morning, before I've even stepped foot out of my bed, I have to say, "Lord, I trust you."  It's a trust that says, "No matter what comes my way, I'm sticking with you God."  That "no matter what" phrase is the toughest of all because any sort of circumstance cannot change your thinking; you must be resilient with trust.

If you were to lose your job tomorrow, then you must trust in the Lord's provision.  Even if you have bills to pay, gas to put in an empty tank when it's near $4 a gallon, or whatever the surrounding circumstances may be; you still have to trust.

Even if you wrap your car around a tree and find yourself waking up in a hospital, you just have to say, "I'm trusting you, God."  Go ahead and complain.  Go ahead and ask all the questions as to why God let this happen to you.  But in the end, just make sure you're trusting him, the One who has overcome the world.  He has overcome your troubles, so take heart - trust.

I sat in that chair for some time and realized my circumstances.  I learned about trust just that much more.  I still don't know the ins and outs of what trusting in the Lord actually is, but I know that it takes my whole heart.  So I gave my heart.  And I gave my self.

I was completely at a loss for control.

Some lady was walking my way now.  Another immigration officer...

The Lord is a stronghold for the

oppressed,

   a stronghold in times of trouble.

And those who know your name put

their trust in you,

   for you, O Lord, have not forsaken

those who seek you.  (Ps. 9:9&10)