UA Flight 922 - Part VIII

Have you ever wondered why God was allowing something to happen to you?  I bet you have.  I bet you’ve been put in some situation, say, where you can’t see the one you love.  Where all you want is to see that person, to hold that person, to kiss her, to talk with her, to walk together; it doesn’t even matter where the road leads or what time it is.  You’d simply do anything for that person.  You’d give anything to have July back, that one month where you were actually able to spend with one another. 

And yet, God let your life slip into this place where you’re unable to be with each other.  It’s a place where talking on the phone actually hurts because you don’t like the thought of talking over wires.  You hate the fact that you can only hear her voice.  No eyes to get lost in.  No one to embrace.  So the conversation ends depressingly.  It goes from not even taking a breath because you have so much to say, to near complete silence.  Sighs substitute for words.  The words “I love you” are hard to come by.  Yet you know it’s true.  You know all you want to do is make the other person believe in those words.  To believe you.

It’s a place where you have to force yourself to be happy.  The days are so long without her.  You find it hard to be around friends.  All they do is try to cheer you up.  Their efforts are hollow.

It’s a place where she shouts at you for not being there with her.  She’s actually angry at you.  She’s frustrated with how life’s worked out.  She doesn’t understand why it’s taken such an awful course.  And all you can do is be silent.  You have no words to say.  Trying to comfort her seems worthless.  She rejects those words like they’re cop outs.  But you keep repeating them.  You keep trying to make her believe them. 

“It’s going to be all right.”

“I’ll be with you soon.”

“Don’t give up on this.”

“I love you.”  Each comforting phrase resonates with the underlying theme of, “I love you.”  Each sentence you string together attempts at saying, “God’s in control.  He’s watching over us, keeping us.”  It all hints at a steadfast love enduring forever (Ps. 136).

God’s allowed this course in life to occur where when you hang up the phone, you lie on the couch because there’s nothing else to do.  You’re almost sick at the idea that you can’t see the woman you love.  And the day drags on slower than it did before.  The day becomes plain.  Mundane.  Even though the summer flowers still hold their bright pinks and purples.  Even though the day’s illuminated by God’s glory.  Even though the humming bird hovers magnificently about the flowers searching for food, for some heavenly provision.  And even though there are the millions of reasons for life to be perfect on this late August day, you still acknowledge none of it because the one you love is not by your side.

It’s like life is worthless at that point.  You don’t know why you’ve been teased with a month together and five months apart.  And then you start thinking those scary thoughts you don’t want to think.  You start questioning your love for one another.  At least, that’s what she tells you.  She tells you she’s scared of those thoughts.  That she doesn’t want to be thinking those thoughts.  Telling you that you should be here right now.  That others are angry because you’re not here.

“I’m doing all that I can babe.”

“It’s a waiting game at this point; we’ve got to wait on the government.”

“I don’t like this either, but...”

Your words trail off into the thin air.  They drown in the oceans between you.  The Atlantic is too far to swim, but you’d swim it if you had to.  You’d sprout wings if there was a magic bean you could eat so for one day you could fly.  Then you’d be with her.  You’d fight back every prevailing wind if it meant you’d get there sooner.  There’s nothing you wouldn’t do to be with her.

You wonder if she actually understands the amount of love you have for her.

Then you wonder why God allows this to happen to you.  But maybe we’re not meant to understand.  Maybe we’re meant to get on with life, to weather the storm as it were.  Maybe we’re not meant to get caught up in the details, but instead focus our attention on the living God.  For he is Lord over this situation. 

For to this end we toil and strive, because we have our hope set on the living God, who is the Savior of all people, especially of those who believe.  (Timothy 4:10)

You see, we’re meant to hope.  We’re meant to say something like, “Cool God, I’m with you; I believe in you.  For you give me hope that tomorrow I will be with the one I love.  You give me hope that no matter what comes against me I will prevail.  You give me hope because of your steadfast love enduring forever.  You simply gave me hope the moment I let you into my life.”

Have you forgotten about that hope?  Have you lost what remembrance you have of this new life, this life which is meant to be focused on eternity? 

Take up hope today.  Regain what you might have lost.  Look around you and know that your Lord is truly alive.  That every breath you take is a reminder of the living God within you, about you, and for you.  Change your perception of life today so you come to know and understand that you live intimately with your Maker.  So that part of the framework of your relationship with Christ is one of hope, a hope that lasts forever.

Now ask yourself if you honestly – just you in the raw with no one else influencing your answer – have set your hope on the living God “who is the Savior of all people.”

There will always be hope.  You just need to search for it as much as you want it.