What's Wrong with how I'm Making your Drink?

She ordered a tea.

And four years of practice came into play during one very integral moment.  I reached down to open the drawer.  

Searched ferociously for Japanese Sencha.  Tapped each container top with the spoon like I played drums.

Grabbed hold of the loose leaf tea bag.

And then life seemed to end for this lonely lady standing on the other side of the bar.  

"Wait wait.  Before you proceed can you please wash your hands."

Strange.  But whatever.  I'll do it.  

"Then can you get a new bag for the tea and start over again."

Well.  I guess so.  But really?  What's so wrong with how I'm making your drink?  It's the same way I always make tea.  

I didn't think about it much at the time.  I merely joked with Mike and Haley about it.  I don't think we even waited for her to sit down.  We just looked at each other.  You know that look.  The one where you just catch each others eyes.  No.  Not in any sexy way.  But in that way like, "Woah, did she really say that?  Really?"

And yes.  I met the female version of Bill Murray from What About Bob.  17 years after seeing that movie and I actually found someone who fits the definition of a "germ freak."  Plenty of us joke about being such freaks and shy away from the five second rule, but I think we're all just playing up those fears of being the .001 percent to contract longwinded diseases.  The ones that only House embarks to cure.  Like Blepharitis (infestation of the eyelash follicle by a mite) or Tinea unguium (ringworm of the nails) or Pediculosis (lice) or any other martian infestation.

Leaving aside alien diseases that obviously will somehow find a way to symbiotically attach themselves to the tea bag through my money grubbing hands, I think there are more dangerous germs to possibly freak out about.   It's not even that we should be freaking out.  But let's just think about some things.

What if germs aren't merely the microorganisms soap commercials claim to 99.9% kill?  What if those microorganisms aren't so miniature and that more harm can come by whatever is consumed in life?

Haven't you all heard the saying, "you're eyes are the window to your soul"?  There is truth to that statement whether I use it as a pick-up line or not.  I'm not trying to pick you up here but make you recognize the surrounding world.

The dusty germs on the cafeteria floor are the same germs permeating your life.  These germs might not come in the form of dust or any visible particles, but they're in the f#*@s and the sh*@s and the God^&@*s.  But maybe you don't believe this actually affects you.

Okay.  What movies did you watch recently?  How about next time an HBO Special's on you count the number of sex scenes?  Don't forget to watch it with your mom.  Wait.  You don't do that anymore.  You're your own person now.  A grown up.  An adult.  Someone who's been able to think for herself since age 13.  But maybe you still don't believe this actually affects you.

Well.  Drinking?  Oh those nights of going to the pub, having one too many and then feeling the full affect rushing like a deluge from deep within your bowels.  Classic nights, right?  And I bet you still really don't believe this actually affects you.

Even after you see the literal effects of your day's foraging, puddled up on any and all surface area within reach.  

It's tough to deny that what goes in you will at some point come out.  Most likely that's because it's the natural process of your body excreting all possible poisons.  Well, maybe you don't oppose profanity, drinking, or being that creepy guy in the corner of the room intently viewing fornication.  

But think about it, where is the five second rule when that sex scene plays during a date movie?  Oh yeah, that's the infamous awkward moment.

Don't let life be awkward anymore.  Realize everything comes round full circle.  And what goes in you will come out in some form.