Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Nonexistent

Dostoyevsky makes the claim that we need to acknowledge a person in order for her to exist.  Well, in that case most of 21st century America does not exist to one another.  You don't even exist to me because these are just words on a screen.  (I can't hear you man.  Speak up.)

So I'm sitting here with my earbuds in and the music blasting all sense from my brain.  I'm jammin' brotha.  (What did you say again?)

I do not actually exist.  I just don't.  You wouldn't even answer me back when I said "hey."  You didn't even give me the whole "hay is for horses" line.  You said nothing.  Therefore, I don't exist.

So I'll stare at the blue skies.  Cotton ball clouds.  And hope the brisk winds make me feel alive.  Since it is one of those days: divinely ordained.
 
As with God, I question life when I look around and see crowds of people.  I usually question everything anyways, but it's more the idea that we're living separate of one another in every possible way.  Just count the number of people commuting through daily routine plugged into iPods or Zunes as if to say, "leave me alone."  Really, how can we be sitting on the same couch but not notice each other? 
 
Well, you may notice his poor attire or those ugly Crocs, that horrible hair cut or that too much happening graphic tee.  But that's about it.   

I'm not asking you to inquire of his personal life.  But do you even notice her sitting next to you, that other girl?  How about that man across the way who always stops in to get his coffee?  You know, the one with the thick glasses crossing his legs and feverishly trying to hide his shaking the paper.  

No.  No you probably don't notice that man; that's not how life is nowadays.  Looks like we just don't care.  I guess we're too busy.  Or we've got our own problems to worry about.  Like still writing out the grocery list.  Thinking of that certain someone back in London.  Altogether trying to figure out the meaning of life in a five minute span.
 
What if next time I said "hi" to you, would you return the favor?  But wait, you have your earbuds in.  Guess I just made a fool of myself by yelling and screaming and jumping and clapping and going all charismatic-style for life.  Yeah, you didn't even see me.  

Don't get me wrong, I think we all need that sound track for our own life, but should we always stand right next to the PA?  Doesn't that bother you sometimes?  I mean, all that noise drowning out the world spinning around you?

And to think, you wouldn't even look at me.  Oh well.  I'm smiling.  Making the most of life.  And listening to my favorite songs.  Today is divinely ordained because I actually exist to someone even if no one acknowledges me.  

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