his heart is firm trusting in the Lord.
- Psalm 112: 7
It's friday with 23 years gone. Saturday marks one more day. Sunday follows suit. When I was younger I always wanted to be the big kid. But I was just the little pesty brother following Mike around. He's five years older than me. So with circumstances out of my hands, since I'm the middle child, I'm not sure if I'll ever be the big kid.
I remember always wanting to be in high school. There was a certain awe about the halls of that building. I was only in sixth grade when my brother was a senior. What were those halls like that he walked everyday? Did it really look like it does in the movies?
You see, when Mike roamed those giant halls I had a regimented block schedule. Kids were only allowed to go to their lockers at the assigned times. Certain staircases were for walking up while others were for descents. I'm not sure what I really expected to be different about high school, but there was something different, regardless.
Maybe it's that I would be taller than five feet so I could actually reach the top shelf of the lockers without struggling. That's more of my own genetics rather than the true experience of higher education. So maybe it was the fact that I'd have more freedom. And I guess the type of freedom I thought of was school being more fun. A place where I could leave the classroom when I wanted and go chill in some cool student lounge. Where I could joke around with teachers like they were my friends. And where in one single life changing moment everyone broke out in song and dance following in the footsteps of Grease, crossing the generations of cheesy teen flicks to today's very own, quite cleverly titled, High School Musical.
Well, even at 23 I don't think I'm the big kid. It really doesn't much matter anymore. High school's gone. College is gone. And I'm growing up. But there is one thing that's remained all throughout: a trust in God.
You see, with this whole big kid thing, this whole natural obsession with wanting to move onto the next step - God was always there to lead me on. To show me the next thing in life. To bring me from a barely five-foot freshman to seven more inches and a Bachelor's degree. So now what?
I guess I leave my trust in the Lord. It got me this far, and I say that not meaning to downplay this trust or make it into some sort of tool for my own narcissistic progression. It's that I don't know where my days will take me, but I know they will lead me on to God. Because, yeah, it still is about being that big kid, but just in a different sense from physical stature.
Trusting in the Lord is about taking that next step. A life continually spent in transition, as it is, needs an anchor. From day to day we must find ourselves in the Almighty's grasp. But don't try to reason this. I mean, most of the time it's an unconscious decision. We simply trust regardless of circumstances. We wake to a world never at bay; we walk into a place where movement, motion, chaos and crowded streets are tangible observations of never ending time. We are always looking to the next horizon and walking into the sunset just so we can start things over and over again in new ways.
We experience life differently all the time.
So let life go on as it will naturally. Be yourself not trying to figure out what this whole trust thing is all about. And just trust in God while living life normally.
Natural. Ordinary. Progression.
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